I am so made that I cannot believe.

I post this every year...

2009-11-22T22:19:38Z

and this year is no exception. A couple days early, here's Lincoln's speech declaring Thanksgiving a national observance, made in October of 1863.

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Apple Cobbler Cake

2009-11-18T23:21:37Z

My cousins showed up with a ton of apples and sweet potatoes (their last harvest of the year, thank god--they need a break) that I've split with my parents. I'm saving some of the sweets for Thanksgiving, but I'm going to get some of the apples out of the way tonight or tomorrow in an Apple Cobbler Cake.

So, so easy. Make your favorite apple cobbler and assemble it upside down in a large rectangular cake pan. (Preferably glass, but whatever.) In other words, put down a layer of cobbler topping, then pour the apple filling on top of it. *Then* pour in your cake batter. Yellow cake, spice cake, apple cake--whatever--and bake as you would the cake, alone. Let it cool a bit, and turn it out onto a cookie tray, or whatnot. Top with ice cream, whipped cream, caramel sauce, etc.

I'm going to try a bundt pan, and add some raisins to the cobbler.

Sweeeeeeeeet.

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Convection Oven + Bacon = Perfection

2009-11-16T16:58:54Z

Seriously. I thought I'd figured out the formula for perfectly crispy bacon, and while it was a bit involved and wasn't 100% reliable (due to differences in brand, thickness, etc.), it usually produced crispy (yet *extremely* dark) results. While the BF had always maintained that the crispy factor was all that mattered, the new convection oven has prompted him to reevaluate his standards.

In all seriousness, the bacon I've produced in the convection oven is amazing. It's perfectly crumbly-crisp but nowhere near over-dark, and the slices tend to stay very flat, instead of curling up and forming a dozen little reservoirs of grease. For my next trick, I'm going to have a go at the thick-sliced stuff, and see how that fares. If it's even *close* to the last couple batches, I think we'll have a winner.

EDIT: FWIW, I'm perfectly happy with the lower-end convection oven. It's over $50 less expensive than the next model up--the 31199R--but I still can't find a significant difference, and mine has been performing beautifully. If I really fall in love with the whole convection thing, I'm more likely to replace my actual stove/oven combo with a convection model than I am to buy a more expensive countertop unit.

So, yes: countertop convection oven + bacon = perfection.

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WalMart is DEAD TO ME.

2009-11-10T20:53:22Z

WalMart hits a new rock bottom, as they've stooped to traumatizing gay couples AND their children.

http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2009/11/07/16449 (Via firinel.)

Fuck you, WalMart. You're not getting a dime from me this Christmas season, or, indeed, ever again. And my Sam's Club membership is going down, too.

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Help Save Dave's Place.

2009-10-26T17:54:28Z

I'm helping to save a guy named Dave's house and land from foreclosure by promoting the Save Dave Online Auction being held on LiveJournal now through November 20, 2009.
Everything ranging from tech support and professional editing to yarn and everything knitted you can imagine. Autographed first editions and TV/movie memorabilia. Want custom or handmade jewelry, or a custom quilt or book bag? Think someone might like original art or photos (or letterpressed biz cards, or custom notecards) for Upcoming Holiday Gifting? What about baked goods People are even auctioning off surprises and taking offers for custom duct tape creations!

People who don't even know this guy Dave have brought the best of themselves to help him stay in his home. Most auctions are ending around Halloween...go check out what's on offer before it's over! And if you can, spread the word about the auction. Thanks!

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Because every new mom thinks about

2009-10-24T14:53:44Z

Porn.

(Via glinner, aka Graham Linehan.)

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Today on Sick, Sad World:

2009-10-22T20:22:50Z

Parents Sue School For Allowing Their Son To Be Openly Gay: http://bit.ly/3Befxe

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It's football season.

2009-10-20T14:59:44Z

Needs I should post this sketch (That Mitchell and Webb Look) regarding rah-rahs who engage in a bit too much self-identification with their chosen team.

(Via cearbhaill.)

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Apparently...

2009-10-18T21:47:04Z

the Rapture is scheduled for October 21.

(Hey, now--they have proof.)

I suppose we'd better plan our Halloween parties for the 20th and all us atheists and non-Christians and *bad* Christians (who think Gays are, you know, decent human beings like anyone else) should start stocking up on supplies for the 7 year Tribulation.

Oh, and volunteer to take care of your Raptured Xian friends' pets in the event that really *are* sucked up to heaven to marry Jesus. It's the least one can do to repent for the heinous crime of non-belief in ONE THEOLOGY out of over 20, not to mention the endless variations on some of those faiths. (There are more than 30,000 flavors of Christianity, alone.)

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April May June

2009-10-17T17:45:09Z

I turned my back on the dryer for ten seconds, and...

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Clock-tower condo in NYC.

2009-10-07T22:17:50Z

Even I am somewhat enthralled by this.

A condo located in the clock tower of a NYC building overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge has hit the market at a mere $25 million.

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Polanski.

2009-10-07T16:05:20Z

I discussed this bullshit with the BF while we were slobbing around the hotel in the rain over the weekend, and we kept coming back to the fact that when the crime occurred (and yes, a crime *was* committed) the victim as a minor. No matter what her opinion is today regarding prosecutorial correctness, the fact remains that if we're picking up where we left off when Polanski fled the country, she was a minor. The law is (and was) there to see to it that she be protected from further harm by her rapist, as well as preventing said rapist from committing the same crime again.

While it's completely understandable that she would want this to be over and that she is now in a different place with regards to the rape, justice was not done, and it should be. Her opinion should definitely be respected and taken into account, but this is also about protecting society. And I don't care how old, frail or famous Polanski is--you don't need to get it up to commit rape, and given his past technique (utilizing drugs and alcohol), he doesn't need to be particularly physically fit. He could do it again, and he shouldn't be given the opportunity.

There are, of course, opposing views. Steve Brust, for example, referred to himself as 'Captain Social Suicide' when he opined that the charges should be dropped on the basis of the victim having forgiven Polanski and wishing that the charges be dropped.

On the non-sympathetic side, supergee's take is here.

This guy (via blackthornglade) is sick of Support Polanski petitions, and sums things up very neatly.

(In case I haven't made it clear, I'd prosecute the fuck right out of him.)

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RIP, William Safire.

2009-09-27T23:26:27Z

He created the memorable "nattering nabobs of negativism" for then-Vice President Spiro Agnew, and years later, while at the Times, he called then-First Lady Hillary Clinton a "congenital liar."

Rest in peace, sir. You rarely failed to inform and amuse.

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"The Captain's Wife's Lament"

2009-09-19T15:11:20Z

In honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day, Paul & Storm are offering free downloads of The Captain's Wife's Lament for the remainder of the weekend!

And because the bit.ly URL they're using is so cute, I won't hide it behind a text link:

http://bit.ly/arrrrrrrr

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Gross Food Item of the Day.

2009-09-18T01:56:12Z

Alexia Crunchy Onion Strips.

Don't worry if you think these are a little pricey, because you can make them at home. And it's really easy.

You'll need:

1 serving of deep-fried onion rings
1 sofa

(If you do not have a sofa, any piece of rarely-moved furniture will do.)

To make:

Place a layer of onion rings under a warm sofa--preferably near the air exchange vent or some other source of dry air. Ignore them for a few days. Throw away when cold, hard, and nearly dehydrated, yet still greasy. (Because that's exactly what you'll find in a bag of Alexia Crunchy Onion Strips--dehydrated, cold, greasy onion rings.)

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RIP, Mary.

2009-09-17T15:29:55Z

Mary Travers (of Peter, Paul & Mary) has died from complications related to leukemia. She was 73.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5gi1_nWwQeWR8dixeufsrwXw4k6NA

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Today's Woot! description

2009-09-15T14:14:25Z

is hilarious.

(For the non-geeky, it's spoofing Dune.)

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Obama's address last evening.

2009-09-10T15:55:11Z

Two macros to sum things up:

We are not amused.

(Via supergee.)

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Super Glue + Penis = !Revenge!

2009-09-10T15:48:21Z

"A man whose penis was glued to his stomach testified Tuesday that a motel tryst with a girlfriend involving a bondage fantasy turned painful and humiliating after his wife, a second girlfriend and another woman burst into the room and harassed him because of his cheating ways."

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-national/20090908/US.Cheater.Assaulted/

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Writers and Zine-readers!

2009-09-09T22:36:37Z

The next time you're looking for markets (or something to read) consider this.

supergee posted these very words:

Subject: It's an online zine...

So you can't wipe your ass with it. Flash Fiction Online doesn't want ads that could lead to same-sex marriage.

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Good grief.

2009-09-09T17:04:28Z

Sometimes, the Stupid and the Stultifyingly Horrible come on so fast and thick that it's futile to even attempt to keep up with it all. Better to retreat to higher ground and wait it out from above.

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Warning signs that your child has had contact with the Obama speech.

2009-09-09T15:48:11Z

[P]arents must be on the lookout for the tell-tale signs of contact with an Obama speech.

Have your children lost their “get up and go?” Instead of playing video games or watching TV, are they just sitting still, with their eyes oddly focused, as though they’re “thinking?”

Are they using words or expressions like “Yes we can!” or “public option” or “stability and security?”

Are they asking questions when they come home from school, like, “What are critical thinking skills?” or “How come the President doesn’t have a bone in his nose like he does in the pictures on Daddy’s computer?”

These are just some of the signs of Obama poisoning, and unless you act quickly, the damage may be irreversible. Critical thinking may set in, along with a willingness to listen rather than heckle participants at town meetings.

(The rest of the piece is, of course, behind the cut.)

Priceless.

(Linkage via supergee.)

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Hoist with their own petards.

2009-09-07T15:39:03Z

Glenn Beck & Rush Limbaugh followers, in their own (stultifyingly stupid) words.

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Rain.

2009-09-05T03:07:50Z

Decent speakers or headphones are desirable, but not required.

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Ben Stein on the Democratic Party (ie, gays and lesbians. Oh--and teachers.)

2009-09-03T17:10:03Z

"We have … an entire party, the Democrats, whose primary constituency, besides the teachers' unions, is homosexual men and lesbian women. I hope it won't come as a surprise to anyone that a big part of male homosexual behavior is interest in young boys."--Ben Stein

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